


Enharmonic

by dragongirlG



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, F/M, Flashbacks, Identity Porn, Injury Recovery, Muggle Life, Past Violence, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-04-30
Updated: 2006-06-05
Packaged: 2020-05-29 13:30:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19401292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragongirlG/pseuds/dragongirlG
Summary: Lily and James didn't die on Halloween night of 1981. Waking up with no memories in a Muggle hospital and presumed dead by the wizarding world, they rebuild their lives in the Muggle world. What happens when the two worlds collide?Currently on hiatus.





	1. Prologue: The Leaves of Memory

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Deceptive Cadence](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19390156) by [dragongirlG](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragongirlG/pseuds/dragongirlG). 



> April 30, 2006, original author's note:  
> I'm really excited to be starting a new fic. After a long, long drought, I'm finally inspired to write again, and I'm very happy for it. Hopefully, my writing has evolved as well.
> 
> The title of the fic is a music theory term. "Enharmonic" means two different notations of the same note. I thought that it was appropriate because Lily and James are technically the same person, just in a different world…with no memory. I was very tempted to name the fic "Tabula Rasa," but decided that it wouldn't quite capture the essence of the fic.

The sirens wailed, sharp blue and red lights illuminating the street in the witching hour - three o'clock in the morning, thought the officer, and we can only see results. The house was completely burnt - ashes to ashes - except for a slightly charred bassinet in the very center of the wreckage.

"Bodies! They're breathing - it's a couple - must've had a baby, which was probably burnt to death, poor thing -"

Neil's breath caught in his throat suddenly. It was one thing to be desensitized, but it was quite another to be apathetic; he thought of his own infant son, peacefully sleeping now at home while his wife Geraldine watched over him.

Sighing, Neil continued to survey the damage. "Unconscious, both of them - appear to be married, I'm surprised the rings weren't destroyed in the blaze - get this down, now: male, black hair, tall - about 6 feet, eye color unknown, name unknown - I can't find any ID, damn it! - physical damage - some cuts from glass - minor burns on arms. Early to mid twenties. Female, likely wife, shoulder-length red hair, eye color unknown, about 5 feet 7 inches, name unknown, wearing a nightgown. Physical injuries - same as male - approximately same age. Both alive, barely breathing, cuts all over visible parts of body, clothed in night clothes. Oi, here's a picture!"

Robert, the forensic scientist of the team, carefully lifted a charred photograph from a pile of strewn glass. A baby, who appeared to be taking after his father, smiled up at them happily.

"No sign of the child?" Neil asked quietly.

Robert shook his head silently.

"We'll send a search party, forty-eight hours only. Poor kid probably didn't stand a chance."

The paramedics loaded the man and woman onto stretchers, and the ambulance wailed into the night. Neil got into the car and returned to the station.

* * *

Miles away in the town of Bristol, a giant man flew through the sky on a flying motorcycle, a peacefully sleeping infant named Harry gently cradled in his arms.

* * *

_Beep...beep...beep..._

She opened her eyes slowly and saw white. White walls and white sheets and white curtains and everywhere, everywhere - white! Swallowing a wave of nausea, she closed her eyes quickly and had a sudden thought - _this isn't what the hospital wing should look like_ \- and wondered where she had ever known a "hospital wing" – at school, perhaps - and then she found that she couldn't remember school at all, and she opened her eyes again.

She lifted up her arms and studied them carefully without rising. Her arm was attached to an IV and there were stitches along her right forearm. Gently she touched her head and winced slightly. There was a large bandage wrapped around it. She wondered what had happened.

_"You must always have a supply of potions for minor injuries. I'll give you a starting set - I trust you'll keep them constantly refilled, unlike your dunderhead of a husband. I hope he won't hurt the baby too much with his overlarge hands."_

_"Severus, don't be unkind."_

_A snort. "I'm being truthful, Lily."_

She blinked at the sudden conversation. Lily. That was her name. Lily...Lily Evans? Somehow it didn't seem quite right. And who was Severus? And her husband? And - and her baby?

She smiled wryly as the first thought came to her head: boy or girl?

Her eyes widened with horror. Had she been pregnant when she was injured? Had she had a miscarriage? She ran her hand along her stomach. It was flat. Panic threatened to overwhelm her. "Oh please - even if I don't know anything - please let my baby be fine," she whimpered. "Please...please..." Her heart rate sped up rapidly, and she tried to calm it to no avail. "Please…"

"Awake, I see!" said a voice brightly. Lily sat up slowly as a nurse came into view. Her brown hair was pulled back into a long plait, and she was carrying a clipboard. "Do you know your name?"

"Lily."

"No surname?" asked the nurse.

Lily cleared her throat. "Evans," she answered raspily, uncertainly. It had come out so easily. She supposed that it _was_ her surname then.

The nurse noted this and tried to smile. "All right. Would you like some water?" Without waiting for Lily's nod, she poured some ice water into a plastic cup and handed it to Lily. "Some police officers would like to talk to you," the nurse said. "Do you feel ready?"

Lily paused for a second and then nodded. She couldn't really remember anything regardless.

The nurse left, and two uniformed officers entered. "Ms. Evans," said one gravely. "How do you feel?"

"Awful," Lily answered frankly.

"Ah," said the officer. He was thick and burly and had a gruff voice and thick brown hair. His partner was young man, thin and weedy, with straw-colored hair. He did not say anything.

The burly officer continued. "We have here that you said your name was Lily Evans, correct?"

Lily nodded. "Yes."

"All right...now...where do you live, Ms. Evans?"

Lily thought for a second, and her eyes widened as she found no answer. "I…I don't know. I can't remember."

"Hmm," said the officer, writing this down. "Is there anything that you do remember?"

 _Husband. Baby. Man named Severus._ "Think I have a husband," Lily replied, licking her lips. "And a - had a baby. Or would've had one. It's all blurry in my mind. Also, a man - friend - named Severus."

The officer nodded and noted this. "Your husband is probably the man we found with you, correct? You have the same ring."

"Mmm. I suppose. I don't remember being married." Lily tried hard to think of her husband, and was terrified to discover she had no idea what he looked like, or even what his name was. "Where is he?"

"He's still asleep."

"And...and the baby?" Lily asked, her voice breaking.

The officer and his partner exchanged glances. "We have a photograph of a baby," said the burly one, and he gently pulled out a photograph in a sealed plastic bag. The edges of the photograph were burned. Lily examined the picture closely. A tiny baby boy with jet-black hair and her brilliant green eyes smiled up at her from a pile of blankets. Lily realized with a sinking heart that he did not look familiar at all. She handed the photograph back to the officer, who said, "We did not find a baby at all. It is possible that he escaped the fire. We sent out a search party for him for forty-eight hours, but nobody reported anything." He cleared his throat and wrote something on his notepad.

"How long has it been since I was found?" Lily asked quietly.

"Two nights," said the officer.

"Forty-eight hours," Lily said softly, and she felt something inside her shatter into little pieces.

The thin, weedy officer finally spoke. "You and your husband were found in a burnt-down house in a village called Godric's Hollow two nights ago, October 31, 1981. You were both unconscious and had cuts all over your body. You were transported here immediately after you were found, though that was judged to be about two hours after the house was burnt down. Nothing was left of the house except for a charred bassinet next to which you were lying."

Lily tried to register all of this in her mind and opened her mouth to speak, but found that no words could come out.

"We do not how you and your husband survived such a devastating fire," the burly officer said. "It was a miracle."

"I don't know either," Lily managed.

The officer cleared his throat again. "The name Godric's Hollow does not sound familiar to you?" he asked.

"No," said Lily.

The thin officer said, "You mentioned at the beginning that you had a friend named Severus."

Lily nodded. The memory of the conversation was still in the back of her mind, and she snatched before it could get away like all of her other ones. "We were having a conversation about the baby. He - Severus - said that I should always have a supply of p-medicines for the baby. And then he," Lily paused, because the memory was escaping her, "he said that he hoped my husband wouldn't hurt the baby. But he was joking."

The burly officer finished taking notes and looked up at her. "Can you tell us anything else about this Severus? A last name, his physical features, perhaps?"

Lily shook her head. "I only heard voices. Severus' voice was deep, dry."

"And you said that you did not remember your husband at all?"

"No."

"Perhaps..." the weedy officer began, and he glanced at his partner, who nodded. "Perhaps if you saw him, you would remember."

Lily glanced between the two. "I'd like to see him," she said.

"Now?" asked the burly officer.

Lily nodded.

The officer reached up and drew back the left curtain next to Lily's bed. Lily turned her head, slightly dizzy, and peered at the man in the adjacent bed. He had messy black hair and a slender build, and had the same injuries that she did. He, too, looked unfamiliar. Lily looked at the wedding band on her left hand, and then she peered over at the man's left hand. They wore the same ring.

The two officers were watching her. She turned back to them.

"I don't know him," she said simply. Her memory, she realized, was frighteningly blank. "I don't know him at all."

The officer nodded slowly and noted this. "All right," he said, "thank you, Ms. Evans."

"You're welcome," she whispered, as the two officers left. The nurse reappeared almost immediately and looked at the open space between Lily and her husband.

"Would you like me to keep the curtain open?" the nurse asked, and Lily nodded. "I'll be back in an hour," the nurse said. "If you need anything, please push the button on the left side of your bed." She waited until Lily's fingers clumsily found it, and then she left.

Lily sat and watched her supposed husband, wondering.

* * *

Green - a bright light and a sense of dread - tiny green eyes staring up at him from a crib - eyes flashing in anger, accompanied by a shout - green - and then there was red, red and gold, scarlet armchairs and a roaring fireplace, laughter, ink, writing; blue - blue enveloping him and them, them, his wife, his baby -

James opened his eyes with a gasp. He was lying on a white bed with white sheets, and a needle was in his arm, attached to a strange dripping contraption. An insistent beeping sounded next to his ear, and he thought vaguely of watches.

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

_"Remus, turn that bloody thing off!"_

_"Mmm," said a sleepy voice. "Sorry." The alarm stopped. " Get up, you prats, it's time for class."_

_"It's Saturday," groaned the first voice. "There are no classes on Saturday."_

_"For us there are," Remus responded. "Now get up. Help me get Peter up, will you? And Sirius..."_

"Hello?"

James slowly turned his head to the right. A red-haired young woman with a bandage wrapped around her head was looking at him in some concern through - he noted suddenly - brilliant green eyes. She was also attached to one of the funny machines.

"Are you - can you hear me?" she asked cautiously.

James nodded dumbly.

"Do you know who you are?"

"James," he answered automatically. He couldn't stop looking at her eyes. "You look familiar. Very familiar. And your eyes are very pretty as well, and -"

Oh, he was at it again. Damn it, he always got tongue-tied around Evans –

"Evans," he said suddenly. "You're Lily Evans."

She gave him an odd half-smile. "I - I know. And you are?"

"James," he repeated dumbly.

"What's your surname?"

"Potter," he said automatically.

"Pleasure to meet you, James Potter," she said, and then she held up her left hand. A thin gold band encircled her ring finger. "Apparently, I'm your wife."

Uncertain as to whether she was joking or not, James lifted up his left arm and started in surprise. He was wearing an identical ring on his finger.

"Oh," he said.

A short, awkward silence ensued.

"Do you remember anything about us?" Lily asked, in a restrained tone of voice.

"No...I..." James could feel the memories there, on the edge of his mind, but he couldn't reach them. "I remember green light...and a...a baby. And friends...a boy named Remus and two other names, Sirius and Peter..." Strange. He remembered his roommates from - school, he supposed - but he couldn't remember that he had married this woman named Lily. Come to think of it, he couldn't remember the name of his school, either.

"There's writing here," Lily interrupted his thoughts suddenly. She was examining the interior of the ring. "'J.P. and L.E. July 1, 1979.' Lovely inscription. I suppose that's our wedding day."

James did not know how to respond. "Did we have a - a baby?" he asked, feeling slightly inappropriate.

Lily looked troubled. "I don't know," she said slowly. "Apparently, we did. I talked to the police officers about half an hour ago. They had a photograph of a baby boy who had your hair and my eyes."

 _Police_? The word sounded familiar, but he couldn't remember what it meant. Something to do with law enforcement… _like Aurors_ …wait, what were Aurors? Catching Lily's gaze, James made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat, feeling slightly guilty as he suddenly spotted her breasts, which were at his eye level. He quickly looked away. "What happened?" he asked, staring at the ceiling.

Lily explained, "They found us at the ruin of a house in a village called Godric's Hollow. It was burnt down. We didn't have any identification, I suppose...probably burnt to ashes..."

"Ah."

"Yes. They don't know how we managed to survive such a fire." Out of the corner of his eye, James could see Lily watching him closely. "Do you remember anything?"

James thought. Hard. He came up with nothing. "Nothing beyond what I've told you," he answered.

Lily looked pensive. "I wonder if anyone knows that we're here...or if anyone is looking for us. And someone must have kept a record of when we bought the house, a deed or something. And our son...he must have had a birth certificate, don't hospitals always have copies of those?"

"Er," said James. Birth certificates, like police, didn't quite sound familiar.

Lily pulled back slightly, noticing James' uncertainty. "It's just so…so unreal!" she exclaimed. "We don't even know who we are, we don't know where our son is, we don't even know we're married, we don't know anything about our past. I feel so power -" She fell silent suddenly and began to stare directly in front of her.

"Lily?" James asked hesitantly.

Lily blinked and met James' concerned gaze. "James," she said slowly. "Harry. We named him Harry." At James' bemused look, she continued distantly, "I had a memory. We were talking about…about a war, about how we had a new hope. Harry. 'Harry James Potter. Godson to Sirius Black and the future of the Hogwarts Marauders…' That was what you said. Sirius - you said that name before. He must have been a good friend. And in the memory, I said something about not teaching our son to become a marauder…how strange…"

James couldn't respond. None of those names rang a bell in his head, besides Sirius' from his own memory. He thought back to what Lily had said and answered, "I can't think of any war here."

"I can't either," she said.

"But you're sure of our son's name?"

"Yes," she responded, and her voice was clinical and detached and strange. "Harry James Potter." He watched as she shakily pressed the red button on the side of her bed. "I've got to tell the nurse," she said. "I can't let this slip away."

"Harry James Potter," James muttered, trying the words out in his mouth. They felt strange. He supposed that the middle name came from his own name. James then wondered if he had a middle name, and found that he couldn't remember one.

A brunette nurse came into James' line of vision, and he watched as she stopped at Lily's bed. "Yes?" she asked.

Lily said, "I remembered our son's name. It's Harry. Harry James Potter." The nurse wrote this down, and then she spotted James looking at her.

"Awake?" she asked him. He said yes.

"All right," she said. "Two police officers want to talk to you. Do you feel up to it?"

"Yes," he said.

As James' interrogation proceeded, he found that he couldn't remember anything except for his name, an image of green light, Lily's name, and the names of three roommates from school, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. He couldn't remember marrying Lily or having a son, and he couldn't remember what school he had attended. He couldn't remember his parents' names, or any siblings, or the street address of his family home. The officers left looking frustrated. James sent apologetic glances their way and Lily's.

"I'm sorry," he said to her. "I just can't remember."

Lily looked at him sadly. "It's all right," she answered. "Neither can I."

* * *

On the other side of the island in a neighborhood in Surrey, one-year-old Harry James Potter began a new, miserable life with his aunt, uncle, and cousin - Petunia, Vernon, and Dudley Dursley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of the prologue is taken from a Henry Wadsworth Longfellow poem called "The Fire of Drift-wood":  
>  _The very tones in which we spake_  
>  _Had something strange, I could but mark;_  
>  _The leaves of memory seemed to make_  
>  _A mournful rustling in the dark._
> 
> Also, let me make this clear - James and Lily do not know anything about magic. Sirius still went after Peter after finding James and Lily's bodies; he was too shocked to think that they were anything but dead. All the events that happen in canon still happen. It's just that Lily and James are still alive, living their own lives, completely separate and cut off from the wizarding world. As for the graveyard scene in GOF...I'll explain that, don't worry. :-)


	2. Four Days

_Wednesday, November 4, 1981_

Claudia Estrobes strode down the hospital corridor, her briefcase in one hand and her head bowed in puzzlement. She had never come across a case like this before; in fact, there wasn't even a precedent for it. How did one deal with a young couple who only remembered their names and the name of their son? How could one explain that only the wife - Lily - had proper documentation and the husband - James - none at all?

Sighing, she opened the door of the hospital room and briefly asked the nurse where Lily and James Potter lay. The nurse answered, "Last two beds on the right," and Claudia saw that the curtain between those beds was drawn aside. A woman with lank auburn hair was sitting up on the right, watching a man to her left who was putting his glasses on. Claudia halted in front of them and cleared her throat. They both looked up at her at the same time.

"Lily Evans and James Potter?" she asked. They nodded. "I'm Claudia Estrobes, a social worker. I'm working in conjunction with the police on your case." She shook each of their hands briefly.

"Pleasure to meet you," James managed. Claudia cut him off with a sharp nod. This was a purely introductory meeting; all she had to do was say who she was, tell them when and where to meet with her, and then she could leave. She didn't know why she felt so impatient. Perhaps it was because she was in a hospital. The smell of antiseptic and illness was making her feel slightly nauseous.

"Your case is very puzzling," Claudia said, barely resisting the unnecessary, irrational urge to open her briefcase. "I would prefer to discuss it in private." She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out two business cards with oddly trembling hands. "Would it be possible for you to come at 3:00 next Wednesday?" She wrote down the date and time on the back of the cards. "That's one week from today."

She watched as the couple exchanged a glance. "That would be fine," Lily answered, taking the cards and handing one to James.

"Please let me know if there is any change in plans," Claudia said, standing up and grasping her briefcase. Her breath was coming more rapidly now. "Thank you." She waited for an answering nod from both people, and then, fighting the itch to flee, she turned and strode quickly out of the room, her heels clicking sharply against the hospital floor. As soon as she made it out of the hospital, she took a deep breath of smoggy London air and sank down onto a bench. _What's wrong with me?_ she wondered, trying to calm herself down. _I don't act like this every time I go into a hospital. In fact, I don't ever act like this. Those two feel...familiar, for lack of a better term._ She shook her head. _No. No, that's silly. Calm down, Claudia._

She hailed a taxi, pushing away her unsettled feeling, and returned to the office to continue working.

* * *

_Thursday, Nov 5, 1981_

Lily gingerly touched her head, grimacing at the greasy feel of her hair. The bandage around her head had been removed yesterday, and her head was still slightly tender. The stitches on her arm - and James' - were to be removed tomorrow. James, she noted with a distant amusement, had to wait another day for the head luxury. The doctor had said something about more severe head injuries, or more severe injuries overall, or something to that effect. James had grumbled a little bit, but he let it go when he caught Lily's smile, and the doctor had nodded at Lily before leaving.

They were already being treated like a couple, Lily noted, and she tried - and failed - to ignore the confused feelings that sprang from this thought. Lily was not so foolish as to think that love was an eternal, singular bond that could survive any hardship. Maybe it could survive any hardship when you had a history of disagreements and agreements and romantic gestures, but she and James had none of that, now. Love couldn't survive amnesia, not when you forgot why you fell in love in the first place. She _liked_ James well enough, as well as you could like a fellow patient in a hospital, but she didn't know him at all. Often she got the feeling that he didn't even know himself.

 _Of course he doesn't_ , she reprimanded herself suddenly, _he lost his memory. You don't know yourself any better_.

No, it wasn't fair to blame James for not knowing himself. The strange thing was that he seemed to not know _anything_. He was well-spoken; in fact, he had a hint of a posh accent, though from what region Lily could not tell. He could certainly read and write. He had good manners, as far as Lily could see; he was always greeting the nurses and doctors respectfully. But he asked the most inane questions, such as what an IV was, and what in the world were stitches, and why weren't doctors called healers, and why wasn't the room lit by torches instead of electricity? Lily answered all of his questions - who else would he ask? - and then she wondered what kind of upbringing James had had. Even old, rich families who valued tradition would know of such simple things like electricity. However sheltered someone might be, he couldn't be _that_ sheltered.

 _Maybe he suffered very severe brain damage,_ she thought, _so severe that he forgot everything he learned in school except for his manners and how to read and write. Maybe the parts of his brain that stop him from going into fantasy worlds (where torches light rooms) - maybe those parts are damaged_.

Lily sighed and rubbed her forehead, her eye catching the golden band on her left finger. She hadn't wanted to take it off; it was the one object of the past she could cling onto, even if she didn't want to remain married. _What will it be like when we are released on Saturday?_ she wondered. _What will we do?_ She glanced at James, who was absorbed in a pamphlet on memory loss that he had requested from the nurse. _How will I live, and how will he?_

Frowning, she ran her fingers through her hair again, pleased to feel that her head was less tender than before. Her hair, though...it was disgusting. The grease was truly bothering her now. It felt like it was weighing down her hair and making it stick to her head. Maybe she could ask for some hair bands and keep it in two pigtails. It was a rather girlish style, but it kept her hair out of the way. That was a trick she had learned from -

_"Katherine?"_

_The girl sitting on the bed jerked her head up suddenly, tossing back her long, straight brown hair. "Yes?" She smiled tiredly and closed her book, rubbing her bright blue eyes. "You woke me up. I nearly fell asleep over Charms."_

_"Good thing I called you, then," Lily said, grinning at the girl before examining her reflection in a small hand-held mirror. Her wet hair was dripping down onto her nightgown. "I'll help you with Charms in a bit. What was that trick you mentioned about keeping wet hair out of your way?"_

_"Two pigtails," Katherine answered promptly, scrambling off of her scarlet bed and onto Lily's. "Do you have some bands?"_

_Lily nodded and held out two black bands._

_"Want me to do one of them?" Katherine asked. "You can do the other."_

_Lily shrugged. "Sure." She evenly parted her hair with a comb and grasped the left bunch of wet hair. "I can't believe James Potter pulled that trick on me," she said conversationally, as Katherine tightened the right pleat periodically._

_"You're taking it remarkably well," Katherine observed. "You know," she said seriously, "he really likes you." She stopped pleating for a minute as if waiting for Lily's reaction._

_Lily rolled her eyes. "I have a plan for him. And please. James only likes girls who dance in front of him naked." She gave her pleat in a particularly vicious yank as Katherine giggled and grimaced simultaneously._

_"That's disgusting," Katherine gasped. She began looping the band around the end of the pigtail._

_"It's not like I have to go out with him just because he likes me," Lily said, similarly looping a band around her left pigtail. "Thirteen-year-old boys are_ so

_"Immature," Katherine finished. She grinned at Lily's grimace. "Now how about that Charms homework?"_

Lily gasped and reached for the pen and paper next to the table on her bed. "Katherine," she scribbled frantically under "Severus" and his description. "Brunette girl with blue eyes, friend, roommate from boarding school. Memory - 13 years old. Scarlet beds. Charms? Charms homework? (Charms - a class? Maybe a business/social class? a nickname?) Taught me to braid pigtails. " She banished the silliness she felt at putting the last fact down. Hesitating, she then wrote: "James: classmate? Apparent husband. Prankster (at 13)?" Lily paused, and then put the paper and pen back. She couldn't think of any more to write.

Lily looked to her left. James was watching her curiously. "Is something the matter?" he asked.

Lily glanced at the paper next to her bed and hesitated. "I think I'm having flashbacks," she said slowly. "I...apparently we knew each other when we were thirteen. In boarding school."

James looked thoughtful. "Boarding school. That would explain where my roommates came from." He looked down at the open amnesia pamphlet in his hands. "I've been trying to figure out which kind of amnesia we have," he said.

Lily furrowed her brow at the "we." "Maybe we have different types of amnesia," she said, though she knew that probably wasn't the case.

James gave her an odd look and then shrugged. "Maybe. Anyway, I think that we both have 'retrograde amnesia,' which is when someone can't remember things because of a severe blow to the head. That sounds like us, doesn't it?" He looked at her hopefully. Lily made a non-committal noise in the back of her throat. He grinned. "Maybe I was a - what d'you call 'em - a psychologist before the accident," he joked.

Lily smiled weakly. "Maybe."

"Ah, dinner!" James sighed, as the smell of food wafted down to their corner. "What would you like, my lady?" he asked, smiling charmingly at Lily. "Some sprouts, perhaps, to brighten the green of your eyes? Or some...potatoes to heighten your porcelain complexion? Perhaps some red-hot peppers to add to the fire of your hair. And freckles. Oh, I think all those on one dish would do nicely. As for drinks..." He stroked his chin. "May I entice you with some pure _distilled_ water, oh pure lady of my heart?" He batted his eyelashes.

Lily giggled despite herself. "Stop it," she said, resisting the urge to smack him on the shoulder playfully. Their beds were too far apart regardless. She whispered, "You'll scare the nurse. She'll think you're talking about her."

"Oh, but that would never happen!" James exclaimed in mock-horror. "How couldst thou think me such an infidel? Fie, fie, on my heart I do swear it! Accept my loyalty, my lady, oh do accept!" He held out his arms in a pleading gesture, slipping off his wedding ring and offering it to her. Lily thought that if he were allowed to get off of the bed, he would be kneeling next to her right now. She let out a genuine laugh and shook her head. "Dinner's coming," she said, still smiling.

James sighed dramatically and slipped his ring back on. "I shall have to convince thee another way," he muttered, sneaking a glance at her from beneath lowered eyes. "Do not fear, my lady, my heart shall be thine."

Lily burst out laughing.

The dinner did not, unfortunately, consist of sprouts, potatoes, or peppers, but the drink was indeed water. Lily smiled. At least James had got that part right.

* * *

_Friday, November 6, 1981_

James shifted restlessly in his bed, unable to sleep. The ward was quiet at night, full of soft breathing and occasional snores. He glanced over at Lily. Her long red hair was nearly blue in the darkness. James wondered what it had been like, being married to her. She seemed to get along with him well enough; she laughed at his jokes, which was good, and she answered his questions. James still felt slightly embarrassed when he remembered trying to ask the nurse questions. He had asked where the light in the ceiling came from, and she had answered from electricity. He had then asked what electricity was, and the nurse had given him a funny glance and asked if he was feeling all right. Not wanting to embarrass himself further, he had nodded. When the nurse left, Lily had tried to explain what electricity was through some long, convoluted statement about lightning bolts and natural power. James had asked why people didn't just use fires and torches, wasn't that the proper way to get light? And Lily had sighed and said, "Not anymore," and then dropped the subject.

It wasn't his fault that he felt so lost, was it? It wasn't his fault that nothing seemed familiar. It had to be the memory loss. There was no other reason that nothing made sense when everything was supposed to make sense. He had just forgotten everything, everything that he had learned in school such as electricity and silly things like IVs and stitches. He had severe head damage, as the heal-doctor had said ("healer" made more sense, didn't it, doctors were supposed to heal people), so he'd forgotten even basic things he'd learned in his childhood. Or maybe there was some traumatic issue associated with things like stitches and electricity, and he was repressing those memories. The pamphlet on memory loss had said that that was possible. So he had to go see a psychologist and get the memories back. And then things would be normal.

James sighed and rolled over. He didn't much fancy spending the rest of his life trying to piece his memory back together so that he could function normally in society. Maybe he'd be better off shutting himself up like a recluse and letting people think that he was merely eccentric. He'd known someone like that, he thought vaguely, but he couldn't remember who. He didn't much fancy being a recluse either, though; he needed people, or at the very least, he needed Lily...

And so it was back to Lily. He must have loved her at some point; he couldn't say that he loved her now, but that was, of course, because of the memory loss. He certainly liked her. She was pretty and unique, her features all contrasting red and green and white, and she seemed fairly intelligent, and, well, she was his _wife_. They had had a baby. They must have had sex at some point. Although James knew that this was neither the proper time nor place to be thinking about such things, he found himself doing it anyway. Lily had to be good in bed, otherwise he wouldn't have married her. That red hair...she was probably fiery, passionate, a veritable tiger. All hard kisses and sparking green eyes and...God knew what else. He didn't know. He hadn't tried yet. Of course, he tried to reason, he might never get a chance to try. How could they stay together if they didn't even know each other, much less go to bed? There would be plenty of opportunities, too, if they didn't; he was young, he was fairly attractive, he made girls laugh. Then James thought, _But I don't care about other girls. I want to stay with Lily. She...she and I are connected. We were married once and although we don't remember each other, we must have been perfect for each other to get married and have a son. Plus, no one else can understand me like she does. They haven't lost their memory like we have. Yes, we. We're still married, aren't we? And she seems to like me well enough. I don't know if she'll want to stay married - no, she will. She must. I...I really hope she does._

He turned over and looked at Lily once more. "I love you," he whispered, yawning, and in his now drowsy state and the darkness of the ward, the words somehow didn't seem as absurd as he had thought. "I love you, even if I don't know why yet."

He pulled the sheets up around himself, and fell asleep.

* * *

_Saturday, Nov 7, 1981_

James winced slightly as his right leg gave out beneath him. He grasped the chair next to him and stood upright, again trying to stand on his own two feet without needing support. The nurse gave him an encouraging smile. She was an old, kind, matronly woman, her face full of wrinkles the bespoke many laughs. "That's it, dear," she said, "it'll be a little bit hard at first, but a strong man like you should get it in no time. If you want, I can get a wheelchair for you in case you need when you leave the hospital."

James shook his head, wishing he could ask Lily what a wheelchair was, and once again tried walking. This time, he managed a few steps before his other leg gave out. "Who ever knew that not walking for a week could affect you like this?" he gasped.

The nurse's eyes twinkled. "Remember to focus, dear," she said. "Strength is half of what you need. Will is the other half."

James nodded, his eyes drawn suddenly to the curtain that separated his and Lily's bed. She was changing into real clothes, he knew, and he missed her sharply, even though he had just seen her ten minutes ago. This would be easier if she were here.

The nurse followed his unhappy gaze, and a smile appeared on her face. "I'll just go check on her then, shall I?" she said, and dashed off. James could hear voices through the curtain, and then it was drawn back, and Lily stood in front of him wearing loose-fitting jeans and a faded purple T-shirt. She was clutching the nurse's arm. James felt a little better.

"James," said Lily, smiling, tossing back the two pigtails she had managed to make within the ten minute period. "Ready to leave this place?"

James nodded and drew himself up to his full height.

The nurse clucked her tongue. "You two lovebirds better walk before leaving," she said genially. Lily flushed. "Now, Lily dear, let's see how well you do..."

Lily, it turned out, had just as much trouble as James in walking, although she did create a technique in which she focused on putting her heel on the ground before her toes. They continued practicing for an hour until noon, until the nurse shooed them back to bed to eat their lunch. After lunch, the nurse told them to rest a bit before trying to walk again, and then she left. An hour after she left, James swung his legs to the right and stood up slowly. Lily, who had been dozing, started at the sudden movement. James grinned at her. "Want to walk?"

Lily grinned back. "Sure." She got out of bed slowly and stood up. They practiced walking back and forth along their beds, holding on to the chairs and the bedstand until they could walk completely upright. Lily had the wall for additional support.

"If there is one thing I'll do before I get out of this hospital, it is _walk_ ," James muttered to himself. Lily looked up and smiled at him.

"Want to switch sides?" she asked. "I think I might need more of a challenge."

James looked up, flushed and sweaty. "Sure."

Lily edged along her bed until she reached the open space between her bed and James'. James did the same. "Ready to cross?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow challengingly. James nodded.

They collided.

"Oof!"

"Agh!"

When James opened his eyes, he was clutching Lily by the shoulders, and Lily was clutching him by the arms, and it was a very awkward position, because and her forehead was against his chin, and as she slowly straightened up, her forehead went up to his nose, he could feel her heartbeat, and they were so _close_ -

Close enough to kiss.

James pulled back, still holding Lily by the shoulders, but far away enough that he could see her face clearly instead of just her lips. "I'm sorry," he said breathlessly.

"No - it's all right," she gasped. "Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea."

"No - it is," said James. "You should get your challenge." Awkwardly, he reached over with his right arm and grasped the edge of Lily's bed. Lily reached behind her and grasped the bed with both hands as James let go of her other shoulder.

"Well," said Lily, "That was fun." They were standing right next to each other now, but facing in opposite directions. James nodded awkwardly. Lily said, "Perhaps we should rest for a bit." She stepped away from the bed and grasped the chair next to James' bed, sinking down into it. James managed to turn around, ignoring his shaking legs, and caught her gaze. Her face was flushed with exertion, and he suspected his was too. He wished he could say something to her.

"Lily," he said. "I...er. Do you know where we are going to stay after this?"

Lily shook her head. "The social worker, Claudia, is supposed to take care of it."

James nodded to show he understood. He took a deep breath, unsure about how to approach the subject. "Erm," he managed, "you know...how we're married. Do you - do you want to stay married?"

Lily looked away and bit her lip. "I don't know," she said. "Let's talk about that later, all right?"

"All right," said James, somehow relieved that she hadn't given an answer. He didn't even know the answer to it himself, really.

"Well," said Lily brightly, with a smile that didn't reach her eyes, "shall we walk again?"

At exactly 6:00 PM, Claudia Estrobes met Lily and James in the lobby of the hospital. "Pleasure to meet you again," she murmured, slowing her pace to match theirs as they went to the front door. She opened the door for them and let them pass onto the London sidewalk. "Welcome to the real world."


	3. New Roots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Lily meet with Claudia, make some new friends, and remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exposition. Lots and lots and _lots_ of exposition.

Sunlight seeped through the window as James yawned and stretched out on the lumpy bed, sitting up as he groped for his glasses and put them onto his face. It was his third morning waking up at the bed and breakfast, and only now was he getting used to his surroundings. A ragged chest of drawers, a small square desk, and chair separated him from Lily, who was still sleeping quietly on the opposite side of the room, and next to each of their beds sat a small, thin, rickety table. Underneath each table was a black bag full of worn, donated clothing, which the social worker had given them upon entering the B&B. James unzipped his bag and combed through it, pulling out a wrinkled, white collared shirt and black trousers. Taking care not to wake Lily, he leaned against one side of the chest and dressed, frowning at a hole in one of his socks. Then he slipped out of the room and went down the stairs for breakfast.

"Hey, James," someone greeted as James stood in line to receive his food. James turned around and waved at Jack, a young man who had befriended James and Lily earlier when they'd arrived. "How are you doing this morning?"

James sat down across from Jack and began stabbing some eggs with his fork. "I'm all right, Jack," he answered. "How are you?"

"Fine, fine, just fine," Jack said dismissively, and then he groaned, running a hand through his thick curly hair. "Trying to get my life back together, you know."

James nodded. "I know. Lily and I are meeting with our social worker today."

"Are you?" Jack asked interestedly. "Good luck."

"Thanks," said James. "What are you planning on doing?"

"Looking for jobs," Jack said, gesturing toward the window, where London could be seen and heard through a thick pane of glass. "Plenty of small shops around here; I'm sure someone will take me. I want to make enough money to have my own little flat. I don't want to live here forever." He smiled grimly.

"Good luck," James echoed. "I should probably get a job too."

Jack nodded. "As I said, there are plenty of shops in lovely London. I'm sure you'll find one. You and Lily both."

"Thanks," James said again.

Jack eyed him. "Y'know," he said, "maybe we could share a flat - you, me, and Lily." He paused. "What do you think?"

James shrugged. "Sounds fine," he answered. "Maybe Ellie could come with us. I don't know how comfortable Lily would be, living with two blokes." Ellie was a sixteen-year-old girl that Lily had befriended who had come to the B&B a week ago for reasons unknown. "We'll be one big happy family."

Jack laughed rather bitterly. "We'd be a motley crew, more like," he said, standing up. "I'm going to go to start searching. You have fun in that meeting."

James nodded at Jack's retreating back and continued eating. Jack was an interesting fellow; apparently he had come to the B&B two weeks ago. He wanted to apply to university next autumn, as he'd already taken O-levels and A-levels - "educational exams," Jack had explained at James' blank look - and got very good marks. James thought that university sounded like a good idea, since according to Jack, it'd allow him to get a higher-paying job. The accident might not have been so bad after all, James mused, chewing some rashers thoughtfully. It allowed him a new start. He and Lily hadn't gone to university before, and they'd had a baby. They'd had a house, of course, but it might not have been a very good house. Now, everything was open to him. He still didn't understand what electricity was, among other things, but he could learn everything again. He had Lily and Jack to teach him. It wouldn't be easy, but the whole situation wasn't easy. James had lived in hard enough times before and -

James gasped.

_Lily turned around as James embraced her, holding her closely as he looked out at the stars. "These are hard times," he murmured, stroking her long hair gently. It smelled like peaches and peppermint. "We'll survive, though, we always will. We must."_

_Lily nodded against his shoulder and pulled back. "I just wish it weren't so," she said, looking into his eyes. "First Dorcas Meadowes - and now_ this _...our baby..." She stepped out of his embrace and looked down at the newly purchased crib. Her belly swelled beneath her. "It's just silly," she sighed, as James came to stand next to her. "How can Voldemort think that a baby would threaten him?"_

 _"Voldemort's insane, that's why," James answered darkly, gesturing. The lamp -_ a candle, James noted - _cast strange, flickering shadows on the walls of the room. "The battle at the Ministry scared him. We were stronger than he had realized. Now he's doubly scared of any threat to his power, especially if he's supposedly destined to be defeated." He placed a hand on her belly and smiled tenderly. "A month longer," he whispered._

_She smiled back softly and covered his hand with her own. "Yes." They stood silently for a moment. Lily heaved a sigh and said, "We'll do the Fidelius Charm. It's very complex, but it can be done in one day. We need a Secret Keeper and -"_

"James?"

James started and his eyes focused on Lily, who was staring at him worriedly. "Are you all right?" she asked.

He nodded. "I just had a memory," he said, "at least, I think it was a memory. Can you get that little notepad of yours where you write down -?"

"Stay there," Lily interrupted, and she raced out of the dining room. She came back a few minutes later and shoved the notepad and pen in his hands. "Here," she said breathlessly, excitedly. "Write down everything you can."

James flipped through the pages until he found a blank sheet, and he wrote.

* * *

Claudia rubbed her eyes as she looked over the records she had managed to acquire for Lily Evans (or Potter). She felt oddly anxious about this meeting, and as a result, she hadn't slept very well. She wondered why she always felt so uneasy and odd with anything regarding the pair. Something tugged in the back of her mind, like a memory she'd forgotten, and she tried to think. Nothing came up. Frowning, she shuffled Lily's records into a neat pile on her desk, mentally reviewing the facts of the case.

Lily had been born on August 24, 1960, to two middle-class parents named Rose and Michael Evans. The Evans had stayed married until their death in August 1977, and their will had proclaimed that Lily inherit all of their possessions, including their house (unused and rebuilt after a mysterious gas explosion) and their savings (untouched so far). Lily thus had a comfortable sum of money of which she likely wasn't aware. It wouldn't last forever, but it would be enough to pay the rent for a decent flat for half a year, provided Lily had her own income to supplement the utilities bill and other living expenses. And, thought Claudia, if Lily lived with an employed James, they would be able to share the price and live comfortably until the inheritance ran out. However, the social worker doubted that the couple would be foolish enough to depend solely on Lily's inheritance; they would certainly try to get enough of their own income to secure financial independence.

Of course, that was if they stayed married. Claudia slipped out a sheet of paper from underneath the stack of Lily's records, examining it curiously. Lily Evans and James Potter had apparently married on June 30, 1979 in a small court ceremony with only an official as a witness. That meant that Lily had only been nineteen years old when she married, a year after taking her A-levels (which results, by the by, were superb). Perhaps she and James had eloped because she was pregnant. Now that they had presumably lost their child, would they stay together or go on separate paths?

Claudia shook her head. It wasn't her place to ask such personal questions - at least, not in this case. Her job was to help them find their feet after their accident, present them with their documentation and state their options, and then close her part of the case, knowing that she'd done all she could. Lily and James were adults, after all, and were expected to take care of themselves. Looking at the second stack of papers on her desk, she recalled how Constable Ranick had discovered a complete set of James' records yesterday in an abandoned office, which had belonged to a man named Donald Percil. Percil disappeared a few weeks before without anybody noticing, Ranick had informed Claudia, and she wondered if James had known Percil before the accident. Despite her uneasiness around the couple, she couldn't help but feel a little pity for them. They hadn't remembered that they were married; did they remember their friends? Their family? Their son?

A tentative knock on the door signaled their arrival, and Claudia shook herself out of her thoughts. "Come in," she called. They entered and seated themselves across from her. Claudia was pleased to find that she felt no uneasiness at all. Perhaps it had been a one-time thing - or two-time thing, if she counted meeting them at the hospital. "How are you?" she asked perfunctorily.

"Very well, thank you," Lily answered. Her hands were folded neatly in her lap. She was wearing a white button-up blouse and a smart denim pencil skirt. James was also dressed nicely, with a collared white shirt and black pants. He looked fidgety.

"Where shall we begin?" Claudia asked, looking at them expectantly. "Housing, education, or basic identification?" Two neat piles of paper sat in front of her - one was James' documents, and the other Lily's documents.

"Basic ID," James replied promptly.

"All right," began Claudia. "I managed to find both of your birth certificates, passports, and National Insurance numbers..."

* * *

James listened to the social worker - Claudia - go on about documentation, becoming more and more confused by the second. What on Earth was a National Insurance number, and why didn't he know that he even had one? He chanced a glance at Lily; she seemed to following along quite well. James let out a little sigh. He'd probably have to ask her to explain after the meeting was over. He hated being so dependent on her, not because he didn't like her, but because he always had to inconvenience her. He was terrified that one day she would get fed up and simply refuse to tell him anything, and he'd have to fend for himself, floating helplessly in this strange and foreign world.

"...both attended the Hanover Gifted Institute, a boarding school up in Scotland," Claudia was saying. "You both sat O-levels and A-levels and got excellent results. You didn't go on to university, but you're certainly qualified..."

Ah! Here was something he recognized. Vaguely, he recalled his conversation with Jack at breakfast, and then he heard himself saying something very strange: _O-levels and A-levels are the Muggle version of owls and newts..._

"It's your choice to apply, of course, but I'd recommend doing so," Claudia continued, cutting into his thoughts.

"I - we are," James interrupted, eager to get his mind off the strange memory he'd just had. Claudia and Lily looked at him in surprise; he hadn't said anything since the beginning of the meeting. "I was thinking about it this morning," he added hastily. "I was discussing it with Jack - a friend at the B&B."

Claudia nodded. "I'm glad to hear that," she said. "It's always good to be thinking about your future."

James gave a little smile. "Thank you."

Claudia smiled back warily, dropping her eyes back to the papers in front of her as she cleared her throat. "I think I've covered everything - oh! Yes." She looked up. "You should probably go see a psychologist to try to recover your memories. I've researched a few names and numbers, which should be on your contact sheet - that's the first sheet on each of your stack of papers." James looked down for the first time at the mound of documents sitting in front of him. On top was a long list of names, street addresses (at least he recognized what _those_ were), and a strange series of numbers called "phone." Hmm. He supposed he'd have to ask Lily what "phone" was too. It was obviously used to contact people, so it was probably some sort of code that one wrote on a sheet of parchment to properly open up a channel to another sheet of parchment, so two people could write letters back and forth in class while appearing to take notes -

James' thoughts halted suddenly, and he frowned in confusion. Where had _that_ idea come from? Was that a memory? He seemed to be getting a lot of those today.

"James?" Lily asked tentatively, for the second time that day. "Are you all right?"

James shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts that clambered about in it, and said, "Yes. I'm fine. I'm sorry." He looked up and smiled weakly. "I was thinking." He felt oddly warmed by Lily's worried expression. She scrutinized him for a minute more before turning back to Claudia.

"Do you have any questions?" Claudia asked, looking between the two of them expressionlessly.

"I -" Lily bit her lip, and James once again felt that strange warmth come over him. "The police officers said we had a son named Harry. Has there been any information on him?"

Claudia shook her head slowly. "I'm sorry. The police haven't reported anything to me."

Lily nodded, quickly covering the desperate disappointment that had briefly flashed across her face. James wanted to comfort her like he had in the memory this morning. "Thank you," she said quietly, and she stood up, cradling her stack of documents in her left hand. "Thank you so much for all you've done for us."

Claudia nodded, shaking James' hand and then Lily's. "Feel free to contact me if you have any problems." There was a tinge of sadness in her voice. "Good luck."

"Thank you," James murmured, and he and Lily turned to go. As they walked down the hallway to leave the building, he asked in a low voice, "Lily, what's 'phone'?"

Lily paused to stare at him for a minute, and then she laughed, her eyes lighting up into a brilliant green. "Oh, James," she said. "You're..." She flailed her arms, lost for words. "All right. You see that object over there on the receptionist's desk?" She pointed to a large, boxy object with a set of circular dial of numbers in the center of it and a sort of handle on top. "That's a phone, which is short for telephone. You pick up the handle, dial the number - er, set of numbers, which makes up a telephone number - and then you can talk to the person on the other line. That is, you can talk to the person whose phone connects to that number. Does that make sense?" She cocked her head and looked at him hopefully.

James scratched his head. It sounded a little bit like his parchment idea, but he wasn't about to tell Lily about that. He'd ask her for the notepad later. Nodding, he said, "I think so. Thanks."

She laughed again, shaking her head for some reason, and opened the door. "Let's go."

James did not know whether the warmth in his cheeks came from the fact that Lily had laughed at him, way her eyes lit up when she laughed, or the sound of her laugh itself. He decided that he didn't need to figure it out. He just knew that he liked it.

"Stand."

"Stand."

"Double down."

Raising his eyebrows, James handed Jack a card. "Are you sure about that, Jack?"

"Quite," Jack replied calmly, looking around innocently.

"All right then," said James, "everybody reveal your cards..."

Lily tossed her hair off her shoulder. "Almost," she sighed, setting down a jack and an eight. Ellie looked at her sympathetically, shaking some wispy blonde curls out of her face, and set her cards down - a five of spades and a ten of hearts.

James groaned from across the table as Jack set his cards down with a flourish. "Twenty-one to the tee," Jack said, smirking, as James set down a nine and an eight next to his cards. "You owe me a..." He thought a moment. "A Texan, one of those amazingly delicious chocolate bars with a chewy center and..." His voice trailed off wistfully.

James rolled his eyes. "All right. A Texan within the next week, otherwise I'll owe you two Texans. Fair?"

"Fair," replied Jack, shaking James' hand. He recorded the bargain on the sheet of paper in the center of the table, clearing his throat importantly as he collected everyone's cards for the next round.

Lily exchanged an amused glance with Ellie. It was Friday night, and the four of them were sitting at the desk in the center of Lily and James' room, playing a rather modified version of the card game 21. In this version, one player was the dealer, and whichever player had a sum closest to twenty-one won the game. The dealer would then "owe" the winning player something. If the dealer had the closest sum, then in turn, the person with the second-closest sum would owe the dealer something. 

It was a bit confusing, and Lily supposed it wasn't exactly fair, as the dealer would have the highest stakes in the game, and only two players stayed involved till the game's end. The dealer position was rotating around the table, however, and hey weren't exactly wagering for money, just for food. So far Lily and James owed each other lunch; Ellie owed Jack her rashers at breakfast (Lily knew this didn't matter because Ellie hated rashers); Ellie and Lily owed each other muffins from the shop next door; Jack owed each person some sweets (any type); Lily owed Jack a pack of crisps; and James owed Jack a Texan chocolate bar. The bargains had to be fulfilled within one week, or else the amount of the bargain would double. Lily found that she didn't mind going to lunch with James; in fact, she felt oddly excited at the prospect. Ignoring the anticipatory tingling in her chest, she turned her attention to Ellie and asked, "Ellie, who was that man who visited you at work today?"

Ellie's face brightened immediately. "That was my boyfriend Ray. I'm er...I'm actually going to move in with him on Monday. You see, I'm..." She bit her lip nervously and looked down. "I'm pregnant. That was why I came here. My parents threw me out and..."

Lily, Jack, and James all sat in awkward silence for a minute before Lily said softly, "Ellie." Ellie raised her head. Slowly, her blue eyes met Lily's green. "Have you decided what to name your baby yet?"

Ellie nodded, her expression guarded. "If it's a girl, it'll be Emma after the Jane Austen character. If it's a boy, it'll be Gareth, after the Knight of the Round Table." She caught James' confused look. "I like to read," she smiled. "I love stories and books. I actually...I actually want to be a writer. That was another thing my parents disagreed with," and she looked down briefly.

Lily smiled. "Congratulations, Ellie," she said, hoping to erase the depressed look marring Ellie's pretty features. "I'm very happy for you."

Ellie's eyes filled with tears. "Thank you," she whispered, looking down at the table again. "I just - no one's said that to me yet, not really..."

"To Ellie," Jack murmured, raising his hand as if he had a glass in it. Lily and James raised their hands as well. Ellie looked up, her face shining with gratitude. Lily's heart lifted with something unidentifiable as she, James, and Jack all mimicked drinking.

"To Ellie and Ray, and their new child," Jack said, "and to Lily and James, to whom I offer my old flat, so long as they pay the rent instead of me, of course."

They all laughed, the moment broken. Jack looked between Lily and James, grinning at their surprised expressions. "I'll take you there tomorrow morning before I go to work and introduce you to the landlord. He's a bit of a bastard, but as long as you pay your rent on time, he's a decent bastard. It's got one bedroom, a kitchenette, and a toilet, and it's still unoccupied as far as I know. It even still has all my furniture in it - a couch, a television, some chairs, a desk, even some silverware...oh, and a bed. I just took all my personal stuff out of it. Rent's due at the end of the month, and it's not very expensive. You two can afford it. I paid for October early, but under the contract I still have to pay November, so if you move in on Monday, we could split the cost between all three of us..."

"Wait," James interrupted, sounding thoroughly confused. "Why are you giving us all of this? And...why aren't you still living there?"

Jack stared at the stack of cards in his hand for a moment, then asked quietly, "I haven't told you why I'm here, have I?"

James and Ellie shook their heads, while Lily remained still, listening.

Jack took a deep breath. "A month ago, my girlfriend Arlene was raped and murdered by a stranger. She - she lived with me in the flat; we dated for three years, since we were both seventeen. I was going to propose to her at the beginning of November..." He shook his head. His hands trembled, and he dropped the stack of cards abruptly. "I had to identify her body at the police station. It was so awful. When I went back to the flat, I couldn't bear to be in it without her there. I saw her body every time I closed my eyes, and that clashed with the image of her walking through the door like she did every day...anyway." 

Jack shuddered, his voice choked. "I just couldn't stand being there, so without really knowing what I was doing, I packed a bag of clothes and ran out. I just needed an escape. I quit my job, bought some beer, and ended up on the sleeping on the streets for a little bit, not knowing what was going on. Then two weeks ago, on November 2, I caught sight of the newspaper, and I read about that awful, mysterious gas explosion that killed thirteen people, and that was a bit of a wake-up call; I realized I needed to live my life as I wanted it, you know, and not like I was doing. And, well, here I am." Jack shrugged his shoulders. 

"I'm giving my flat to you two because I think you deserve it," he said before anyone could interrupt in the brief pause. He looked at Lily and James seriously. "Because you're my friends, and you're both wonderful people; I can tell even though I've only known you for a week. And because I want you to have a future without too many struggles and obstacles." He grinned suddenly. "And I'll know where to go in case I ever get too pissed at the pub to make it back to my own place."

James attempted to chuckle, but it fell flat into the silence.

"Where are you going to live?" asked Lily, her mind spinning. This was so unexpected. She felt sorry for Jack, but he would surely demand something in return for his generosity. Being friends with a Slytherin had certainly taught her that much -

Wait. A Slytherin? What was that? It sounded like some sort of club or group at school. Lily discreetly pulled out her notepad and jotted down the thought before it could escape.

"I'm going to stay in a bedsit for a while," Jack answered. "It's not as good as a flat, but I think it'll teach me to value what I have. I'm not looking for a life of luxury." He shrugged. "What d'you think? Want to visit tomorrow morning at nine?"

James nodded. "Fine by me," he answered. "I don't have to be at Waterstones till the afternoon. Lily?"

Lily sighed. "I don't know - I think I have to work at the dress shop."

"I'll cover your shift," Ellie put in suddenly, turning to face her friend. "I don't mind."

Lily shot her a grateful smile and said, "Tomorrow morning is fine, then. Jack -" She paused, trying to find the best phrasing. "Would you mind if James and I bought you, er, dinner as an appreciation of our thanks?" She glanced at James, who gave her an acquiescing shrug. "I mean - I want to thank you with more than words."

Jack smiled; his eyes were shadowed. "No - it's all right," he replied. "I - really. You've already done more than enough for me. All of you," and he looked around the table. "And this is a way of showing my thanks. Please, Lily, you don't have to. I'm quite serious. I may even get angry if you do." He smirked suddenly. "You can get me more chocolate, if you really want to give me something. But that's all."

Lily nodded slowly. "If you're certain..."

Jack held her gaze. "I'm quite certain." He picked up the stack of cards. "Ready for another game?" he asked cheerfully, looking around the table.

Ellie yawned, glancing at her watch. "It's getting late. We should probably go to bed. I have to open Marie's tomorrow morning..."

Jack looked disappointed, but he stood up, shoving his cards back into the box. "All right. Nine o'clock tomorrow, James, Lily. D'you mind keeping the wager list here in your room?"

"No," James replied. "Good night."

"Night," Ellie yawned again from the doorway. Jack lingered for a moment longer, looking as if he wanted to say something, but when Lily looked at him inquiringly, he said, "Good night," turning around quickly and shutting the door behind him.

James stood awkwardly at the table for a moment before crossing the room and sitting on his bed, taking off his shoes. "Er - good night, Lily," he said, catching her eyes.

Lily smiled at him, sitting down on the bed as she took a brush Ellie had given her and ran it through her hair. "Good night." She unlaced her trainers, set the brush down, and crawled to the end of the bed, placing her hand on the light switch near the door. "Ready to face the darkness?" she asked lightly.

James lay down on his bed, pulling the sheets around him and turning toward the wall. "Yeah," he replied, his voice muffled.

Lily flicked the light switch, settling into her own bed with a smile as she imagined living in Jack's old flat. Having her own home would certainly be nice, but having a home with _James_...the excitement that she had previously suppressed erupted from her chest and spread throughout her limbs. From the back of her mind, her voice of reason told her she was being silly, but she ignored it and allowed her emotions and imagination to wander free. She positively giggled at the image of James wearing an apron and cooking, lovingly praising red bell peppers, green sprouts, and potatoes for bringing out Lily's features. (She hadn't forgotten that scene at the hospital; she wondered if he had.) Biting her lip to keep from making a sound, she quickly turned to face the wall as James' sheets rustled from the other side of the room.

"Lily?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Yes?" She winced at the clarity of her voice. It was loud and harsh in the darkness.

"You okay? I thought I heard you making a noise..."

"Erm," Lily answered, her eyes widening, "no, no noise. I was just thinking."

"'Kay," James said.

Neither of them spoke for a moment.

"Lily?" James repeated.

"Hmm?"

"I..." James' voice trailed off. "Never mind. Good night."

Lily blinked. "Good night, James." She tossed her hair to one side, lay her head on the pillow, and closed her eyes, making sure _not_ to make any noise as she fantasized more scenes in Jack's flat before sleep overcame her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original author's note, 2006, with 2019 additions in **bold** :  
> Yay! I had to do an extensive amount of research for this chapter; explanations of terms can be found on my LJ [ **now defunct - terms listed below** ], along with Claudia's full dialogue from her point of view [ **this has since been deleted - sorry! If you're curious, please message me** ]. 
> 
> I had so much trouble deciding where to place James for employment; he went from the MVC music store to a Tesco supermarket to the Waterstones book shop. These are all chains in the UK. I needed him to be capable of working, and a book shop seemed to be the most equal institution between the Muggle and wizarding world; everything else had too much technology for James to handle. Lily and Ellie work together; Jack and James do not. You'll probably see a work scene or two in the next chapter; I didn't write it in here because Lily and James are still training at this point, and I wanted to show their interaction together. Also, the full story of Lily's inheritance and James' records can be found in my Petunia fic 'Deceptive Cadence' in my profile.
> 
> Please review!
> 
> Explanation of terms and backstory:
> 
>   * B&B or bed and breakfast hotels are used as temporary accommodation for the homeless in the UK. I decided to have Lily and James stay in a relatively nice one. I hope it's accurate.
>   * Marie's - a small dress shop that I made up.
>   * National Insurance number and other documentation, O-levels and A-levels, university - O-levels are now known as GCSEs. Check out hp_britglish.livejournal.com and the "Britpicking" forum at FictionAlley.org's Fiction Alley Park for more information. I have Claudia's full dialogue on my LJ [now found on AO3].
>   * Lily's inheritance and James' mysteriously appearing records - read my Petunia fic [Deceptive Cadence](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19390156) for the full story.
>   * Jack - Jack reappears in my story [Ransom](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19389742/chapters/46139167), though that was meant to be set in the actual canon universe. Ah, Jack, you were a better man once.
> 


**Author's Note:**

> Comments and/or kudos always appreciated!
> 
> Tumblr: [dragongirlG-fics](https://dragongirlg-fics.tumblr.com/)  
> Dreamwidth: [dragongirlG](https://dragongirlg.dreamwidth.org/)  
> Pillowfort:[dragongirlG](https://www.pillowfort.social/dragongirlg)


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